Bill Cosby used to say that kids say the darnedest things. In my case, kids say the most awkward things at the most inopportune times. I wish every scene in my life played out “Cosbyesque” with my cherub-faced darlings walking up to strangers and making casual observances that draw ooohs and aaaahs for all of their cuteness.
Unfortunately, my reality plays out quite differently.
To illustrate, below are a few of the feelings my children elicit by their untimely comments:
Awkwardness: It was awkward when I picked Jake up from school and his teachers told me that as he sat at the lunch table, he turned to his friend and said, “Please pass the wine.”
I will take my Mother of the Year Award now, thank you very much.
Petrified: As Hannah looked over Greg’s shoulder at a photo of the incoming Commanding Officer of the Blue Angels she said, “Oh man, he’s hot.”
God help me. But to be fair, he is.
Awkward again: Checking out at the mini mart in Ikego, Japan I say to Hannah, “Please give the nice lady your toy.” Hannah says, “That’s not a lady, that’s a man.”
And all my Japan friends out there know exactly who I am talking about. I’m pretty sure Pat lived on base with us.
Pride: As I pull up in front of Hannah’s school, she throws open the door, jumps out, turns and yells, “SEE YA SUCKA!!!”
That’s my girl.